i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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