I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
