Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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