I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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