TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You took a bar mat shot.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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