just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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