It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we're making bets on your personal life
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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