don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
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She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
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It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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