Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
wow bdsm is so cute
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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