So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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