I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sext me about skeletons
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
