alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
