I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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