I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
