so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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