Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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