that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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