Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...

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(513): View more from Ohio

stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight

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(240): View more from Maryland

Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

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(269): View more from Michigan

Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.

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(585): View more from New York

He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.

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