The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
