I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
