whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
