OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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