I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
