For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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