It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
