Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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