So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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