omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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