1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
