He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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