Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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