Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
