oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
