Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
