just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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