why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
