if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
