Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
