I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
