Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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