The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
