i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
