I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
