i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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