we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
