we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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