i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
