I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
