Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
