im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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