the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize