you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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