i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
