her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I need to align my fucking chakras
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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