I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize