I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
