Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
