Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
