the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
