Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
porn star boner night. come get it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize