I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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