Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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