8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
