dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
