last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
