best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
